Shopping - By Mizeta Moon

My car died while I was out shopping for fairy dust. Fortunately, I was only a block away from BradCo, so it wasn’t overly tiring to walk there in my sequined high heels. If it had been raining, I’d really be screwed since those shoes can’t handle being dipped in an icy puddle. Anyway, just before I got to BradCo a man in a long black coat peeled his back off a wall and started moving in my direction. The stranger looked dangerous so I clutched my purse tightly, hoping that wasn’t what he was after, since he was obviously aiming for me. Situations like that were why I was shopping for a new supply of fairy dust. With a healthy sprinkle of that magical stuff all trouble disappears and the world is a smiley place. Since I was out, this stranger could darken my day.

The man stopped in front of me and made it impossible to reach the door of the store, so I clicked to a halt and prepared for the worst. When his hand came out of his pocket, I expected to see a big gun or knife but that wasn’t the case. He was holding a business card and a coupon of some sort. Though relieved, I was still wary. What did he want?

“Allow me to introduce myself.” He said with a disarming smile. “I represent Passions Unlimited. We sell exotic lingerie to BradCo and other outlets but we also have a pop up event going on at the moment that you might enjoy. I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful legs and thought you would be a great model for our Super Sparkle fishnet stockings.” He waved the card and coupon, expecting me to reach for them but I wasn’t buying in that easily. When I tried to step past him, he moved to block me again. Now I was getting angry instead of being worried.

“Please move,” I said peevishly. “I need to do my shopping then get back to work. Thank you for the compliment but I already have a great supply of stockings and some other naughty things I’ve purchased from BradCo. Now that I think about it, the label did say Passions Unlimited, but why are you soliciting on the street instead of inside the store?”

The stranger shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly. “My ex wife is the store manager and won’t let me in. Every customer I can steal helps my sales and cuts into hers. Two weeks ago she stopped ordering from us and my boss says that I’m going to be fired if I don’t bring in ten new customers a day.” The agony on his face softened my resolve but I still needed fairy dust. Suddenly, I had a brain flash.

“I think I can help you if you’ll let me pass,” I said. “Wait five minutes, then follow me in,” He moved, and I stepped into the biggest purveyor of oddities in the universe. Flying carpets, talking dogs, invisible clothing, you name it, BradCo has it. So, I grabbed a ten pound box of Super Charmed fairy dust, then asked the clerk if I could speak to the manager. When she came, I opened the box and sprinkled a handful of dust on her. As you know, the hypnotic effect is immediate and makes one susceptible to suggestion. What I whispered in her ear led to a romantic reunion a few minutes later. Even though I didn’t really need them, I bought two pairs of fishnets, then added a bag of Macic Car Cure before heading back to my crippled ride and dosing it liberally. The rest of the day went well due to my sprinkling pinches of dust on anyone who looked grumpy at work. I thought about sprinkling some on the boss and asking for a raise but remembered he always wore HypnoGard clothing so it would be pointless. I even got home just before it rained so my shoes stayed beautiful and dry. Sometimes, things work out well and we are rescued from the brink of disaster. Next time I go to BradCo I’m going to buy the fifty pound bag of dust since tragedy and heartbreak constantly lurk around the corner and I want to be prepared for any and everything.        

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