Hello, We're Not Home - By Rosy

      There is a land called Faraway where no one is ever home. Ever. The people of Faraway are as far from any sort of reality as they are from us which maybe isn't far enough. In any case, never being home became their national motto rendered as; “Hello, we're not home.” 

   A native Farannadan, which is how the people of Faraway are called, typically has only seen their home once, years ago when they first bought or rented it. They keep paying mortgage or rent but move on, having their mail and calls forwarded to wherever they're staying now, while someone else occupies their old home. 

   The Farannadans need to move every so often, much more often than anyone would think or want. They just need it. In fact, they move to a new residence once every three days, on average, bringing their family, if they're still together, with them. They just need to move, and since it's such a basic and primal urge the Farannadans have streamlined their system so that the entire forwarding process is accomplished by simply writing their name on a card, provided at every residence, and popping it in the mail, no postage necessary. The only requirement for occupying a new home is that no one be home. There is no homelessness in Faraway nor are there palaces. 

   People who, for whatever reason, immigrate to Faraway, a move all the brochures urge you not to make, think that they can remain rooted. They, being foreigners, need not comply with the custom that they move, then move again and again, no, rather they can remain in one spot. They plan to shrug and say, “Oooh, we did not know,” or some such rubbish and stay right where they're at. No moving for them.   

   Newcomers usually remain resolute until one fine day when somehow this urge sort of hits them, whole families even at first, just hits them slow and easy, got them noticing empty houses that look nice, then nicer. Curious, they think, then go home, except home is oddly uninviting. Your family seems somehow surprised to see you, very subtle, and you realize this group doesn't fit here anymore. Not your style at all so you just pick up and leave. Go to that place you liked across town, walk in and stay. Most your family will probably follow for a while. Families stay together longest, sometimes up to a year, long enough to procreate anyway, before wandering off in different directions. People would find out the names of previous tenants when other people would drop by to visit them, not realizing they were already not home.  

   Everyone continues doing their jobs or going to school or whatever they do but just constantly coming from different directions. They use a backpack common to all, called the Farannabag which is a small and unassuming backpack easily able to hold all that is deemed necessary, and can be carried constantly. It is actually strange to see someone without their Farannabag, they are so stylish and sensible. 

   An odd thing in Faraway, about the rare cousin of the blue-footed dooble dogs from Wayfar Intherwud, Faraway's next door country, is that the dooble dog cousin is curiously not a dog at all, rather she is a small blue-footed monkey. She is the only one in the world that we know of, and she lives in Faraway. Her name is Eunice Bullfarb and she runs a coffee shop called Ed's Tires & Brews. 

   Now here's the odd part; Eunice has super powers! She can fly! She's stronger than an ox and has real X-Ray vision, plus more. We think she has some goddess blood or something. She doesn't brag though and gets along with the neighbors pretty well. Eunice loves her dooble dog cousins and would have them over to visit more often, except she's never home.       

      

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