Creative Thinking - By Mizeta Moon

Robo Rent-A-Cop d311 was good at enforcing the law but wasn’t programmed for unusual situations. This current problem was causing his circuitry to overheat as he probed his data bank for a solution. When he took up his position earlier, there was no one around. Patrolling the campus was usually routine during spring break but as the day rolled on a large group of naked bike riders stopped riding and took a break on the lawn. Soon the hillside was littered with naked flesh which was definitely a violation of Dine and Dash University’s dress code. 

At first, he moved through the crowd politely asking them to move on. Most of them refused so he opened the hatch on his left shoulder and pulled out his ticket book. As he wrote citations the dilemma of where to place them arose. Since they weren’t wearing clothes where would they put them? He solved that problem by using zip ties to attach them to the bikes. Many of the naked riders became unruly and shouted expletives due to that action but since he had no feelings to hurt, they were ineffective. When some of the more aggressive ones started shoving him, he realized he was going to have to be creative since harming humans was contrary to his programming. Remembering that there was a big roll of shrink wrap in the utility shed, he rolled that way, hoping the crowd would disperse before he got back. They didn’t. 

He used his hook to round up all the bikes and shrink wrap them together, then dragged them to the empty parking lot. Since he was really fast, he began circling the riders who were now pedestrians and wrapping them in shrink wrap as well. As he was doing this, he called for back up so the miscreants could be shipped for booking at the Fast Food County courthouse. Hearing dispatch contact the fleet of Rent-A-Cops, several television news crews arrived to document the naked bike riders being lifted and loaded onto a flat bed truck. Since they were unashamed by public nudity the riders didn’t mind being filmed but were extremely angry about being arrested. After they were unwrapped at the courthouse, fingerprinted, and photographed, they were delivered to the courtroom of McArthur, Big Mac Burgerking, who chastised them for tying up services and increasing demand on an already overburdened budget. He handed out healthy but reasonable fines and released them without prejudice so they wouldn’t have a criminal record. Their bikes still lay in a pile in the campus parking lot so they had to walk through town and unwrap them as additional punishment. 

Needless to say, there was never a naked bike ride in Frytown again. Rent-A-Cop d311 was awarded a software upgrade which allowed him to solve complex problems without overheating The judge used footage from the incident to make a fortune on YouTube which allowed him to take his wife Wendy to Carl Jr’s supper club for a sumptuous barbecue. Creative thinking saved the day better than pushing and shoving ever could.          

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