God's Nap - By Brian Law

“Shouldn’t we do something?” she asked the other angel. “I mean, there’s a lot going on down there and it really needs some special attention! The kind of attention that only God can give.” 

“Orders were to let him nap for an hour, period. And you know how he gets if he’s disturbed. Remember what happened to what’s-her-name?” the other angel replied. 

“You mean the one whose name we’re not supposed to repeat? That one?” 

“Yep, that one. The one who woke him early from his nap back in 'The Dark Ages'. And you heard what happened to her, right? Oh, Lord, they really made an example of her, they did.” 

The first angel said nothing. She’d heard the rumors. Some examples stand the test of time. Finally, looking at her watch, she made a suggestion, “Okay, he’s been napping for about fifty-two minutes. That’s about a hundred years Earth time. How about if I just drop this vase by his closed door? You know, pretend that it was a mistake. Wake him up, but without really having any of us take the blame. You in?” 

The other angel breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. “Whew, I don’t know. It’s risky. But it just might be worth it considering how bad things have gotten down there since he went to bed.” He thought for a minute, and then made his own suggestion, “How about we invite one of the new arrivals up here and make sure the vase is in a place where he or she will bump into it and make it fall? That way we’re in the clear and the new arrival takes the heat? Deal?” 

The first angel smiled and took out the book of new arrivals. As both of them perused the names, one stood out. “This one is perfect! Even God would have trouble blaming this one! Call down and have her sent up while I get the vase ready, okay?” the other angel indicated. 

The first angel immediately agreed and picked-up the golden phone, dialed the gate, and said ,“Pete, Shirley here. Send up Mary Tyler Moore via the staircase, will you, please? We have something we need to ask her.” As Pete made the necessary arrangements, the vase was placed so that as she turned the corner at the top of the staircase, she would without doubt run into the vase and cause it to break close to God’s closed door. The two angels waited, smiling at each other in anticipation. 

As it happened, God was not angry when he was awakened by the noise. He’d been awake anyway for a while, something about arthritis pain in his hip. And, as he peeked out his door and saw Mary Tyler Moore standing there all embarrassed, he smiled and told her not to worry. He even asked her for her autograph before sending her down the staircase. Then he turned his attention to the two attending angels standing nearby. 

“Okay you two, what do you have to report? What’s been going on since I laid down?” God asked, taking a sip from the coffee handed to him by the other angel. 

“Well, Boss, things have deteriorated somewhat. The planet is getting warmer, people are at each other’s throats, and there’s a Pandemic,” the first angel answered. 

“Did you put real cream in this?” God wondered, as he took a second sip of the coffee. 

“Yes, Boss, real cream. Oh, and there was this guy Trump. He was around for a few seconds, and he was a real disrupter. May have been the handiwork of the ‘Anti-Christ”, Boss. We’re still checking,” the other angel responded. 

“Okay, so we got more of the same, huh? You go to take a nap and what happens? Well, I’m on it now. By the way, how’s the market?” God queried. 

“Surprisingly strong, Boss.” 

“Good. Have my broker buy me a million shares of DucoRama. It’s going to be the next big thing.” 


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