Smile for Me - By Brian Law

“This is Julie. Welcome to ‘Smile for Me’. How can I help you today?” she chirped, adjusting her headpiece. 

“Hi, I’m a first time caller, so you’re going to have to be patient,” he responded. 

“No problem, sir. The way we usually start is to ask your age and whether you live alone or not. Do you feel comfortable answering those two questions, sir?” Julie continued. 

“Yeah, okay, I can do that. I live with my daughter and her two kids in a little house on the edge of town. Oh, and I’m seventy,” he replied. 

“Great. Now, how would you expect to pay for your order today? We take most major credit cards and PayPal. And, if you join our Smile Forever Club, your first order is free! Are you familiar with our Smile Forever Club, sir?” Julie asked. 

“I don’t think I’ll need the Club deal.” he said, a bit exasperated. “I mean this stupid virus can’t hang on forever. All I need is just one or two visits, you know, just a tune-up. I just need someone to show me how to smile again. I’m sure that’s all it’ll take. It’s kind of like riding a bicycle, right? And I’ll just pay with my Visa.” 

Julie entered some data into her computer and then came back on the phone, “You’ve indicated that you think just one or two visits will do the trick. Is that right, sir? I’m only asking because we’re finding that learning how to smile again, especially with our older clients, can be a challenge.” 

He muttered something to himself, and then told her, “No, let’s just go with two visits.” 

“Right, sir. Now, our cheapest package is the Slow Drive-by Smile. You stand on the curb and one of our smilers will very slowly smile as they pass you by. The next cheapest is the Doorbell Smile where our smiler will smile into your doorbell camera. And of course there’s our personal package which is the most expensive. That would be the Six Foot and Holding Smile package, most likely in your front yard. Our smiler will actually meet with you and talk you through the whole process. Do you want me to repeat any of that information, sir?” she wondered. 

“No, no, I think I’ve got it. Here’s what I want to do. I’ll take a Doorbell Smile package followed-up by a Six Foot and Holding Smile package. Different days, okay? That should do it,” he answered excitedly. “Oh, do you allow groups, you know, like me and my daughter and her two kids?” 

“You bet, sir. There’s a small surcharge, but we certainly can accommodate your whole family. So, I’m going to take your personal information now, sir, and we’ll start the process. Can I have your address first of all.” 

“Sure, I live at the intersection of  Delight Street and Joy Avenue. Do you know the area?” he asked. 

“Of course. We do a lot of business out in your part of town, sir. It can be a little rough at night, but during the day our smilers haven't had too many problems.” 


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